We have a winner! Me and my FW discussed it, and we decided that the winner is @ndrew, with his massively bolt story! He will get a contributor invitation from yours truly. here’s his WUG story:
It was the year 1942. A sleek, black, and powerful jet landed gracefully on the rocky gravel of the Denver Airport. The jet hummed to a stop, and a door opened, with a red carpet rolled out smoothly. President Franklin D. Roosevelt rolled his wheelchair steadily out of the plane. He took a puff out of his pipe, which was covered in ash and soot.
“Where is the 11 year old youngster that promised will be here at 11:00 p.m.? asked Roosevelt to his attendant. “That youngster said he could help us, the United States, defeat Nazi Germany and the Empire of Japan.”
Just then, hunky machine with windpipes bright lights of some sort appeared on the airport, puffing gray smoke out of it’s windpipes..
“I think that’s him, sir.” coughed the attendant as he struggled to wave away the smoke. As the dark figure walked out, Franklin D. Roosevelt’s guards loaded and raised their guns. Roosevelt’s attendant motioned them to lay down their arms. As the figure strode out of the smoke, Roosevelt could see that the figure was a boy, with a neatly made Fortune Wookiee that was in his hand.
Franklin took a deep breath. “Hello, I am the president of the US, Franklin Roosevelt. I assume that I should find out how to defeat Hitler and Hirohito by asking my fortune to that?” He gestured at the Fortune Wookiee.
The boy brightened. “Yes sir. First you must choose one of these. Right eye, left eye, bandoiler, or plain.”
Roosevelt’s attendant glanced skeptically at the boy. “Are you sure this isn’t some German spy, sir?” he asked Roosevelt.
“Nonsense!” said Roosevelt. “Say that again, and you’ll be fired. Bandoiler.”
“Okay sir, now pick one of these-3, 4, 7, or 8.” said the boy.
Roosevelt answered in a cracked voice. “8.”
The boy opened the 8 slot on the Fortune Wookiee.
The boy read, “Wuuurrrghghgh, gergrrghh. Wrrrghg, jagrrhrgh.” Roosevelt’s attendant sneered, “That’s jibberish. Out, the president doesn’t have time for insolent young brats like you.” The boy said, “That’s Wookiee language. It translates into-,” Roosevelt’s attendant ripped the Fortune Wookiee out of the boy’s hands. “Take this to the trash.” he told one of Roosevelt’s guards.
Roosevelt snatched the beautiful piece of origami, almost destroyed, out of the guard’s hands. “Enough. You’re fired.” he told the attendant. He turned to one of his guards. “Take that fired guy to the dumpster. He’s being a real Harvey.”
He turned to the boy and gave his Fortune Wookiee back. “Now, what does that translate into?”
The boy spoke. “D-Day, key to defeating Germans. Nuclear bombs will finish Japan.”Roosevelt smiled. “Thank you. You will change the course of history forever, I assume.” The boy smiled, with a glint in his eye. “It was a real honor.”
So, congratulations, @ndrew! Welcome aboard! 😀