SO there’s this kid, who lives on a really hot ,dusty planet where basically everyone is a bully, and he`s a slave. Then these Jedi show up, and with them they have this SUPER pretty lady. The kid and the pretty lady talk while the Jedi try to get help. Then there`s a sandstorm, and the Jedi and the pretty lady have to stay at the kid`s house. Then the kid enters a podrace and kicks everyone’s butt. The Jedi take him and the pretty lady off Tatooine, and they go and try to get more help, but the people tell them no. SO they have to go to this other planet, where there`s a bunch of super annoying creatures called Gungans, and they get help. The pretty lady reveals she’s actually the queen. The kid has his doubts that the Gungans will actually be helpful. He was right. He flies in this ship, and blows up the bad guy base in an epic explosion. Then he gets trained to be a Jedi. In the next movie, the kid’s grown up now. Someone tries to kill the really pretty lady, so the kid who`s now a Jedi (fine, Anakin) has to protect the pretty lady. He`s in love with her. They chase some really ugly changeling creature through the city, then she gets killed. Anakin and his mentor split up. Anakin goes on vacation with the pretty lady, while his mentor tracks down who killed the changeling thing. Anakin and the really pretty lady fall in love, but a bunch of jerks called the Jedi Council say they can`t fall in love. Anakin is heartbroken. He tells Padme he loves her, but she says they can`t fall in love, because it would destroy their lives. Meanwhile, Anakin`s mentor is tracking this bounty hunter dude and his son. They have an epic space battle. Anakin goes back to the hot dusty planet, where his mother dies in his arms. Then he kills everyone. Then they go to rescue Anakin`s mentor, and get captured. The really pretty lady and Anakin pledge their love. Then they destroy a bunch of battle droids. Then they have a lightsaber fight and the boy gets his hand chopped off by some kriffing nerf-herder named Count Dooku. In the next movie, Anakin has a really cool scar. And there`s a war. So Anakin and his mentor go and blow some people up in a ship, then kill Count Dooku. And something about Double G. Then they fly back, and the pretty lady says she`s pregnant. She thinks it`s great, but Anakin isn`t so sure. Then he starts having nightmares of the pretty lady dying. SO he tells her, and she says not to worry. Then SHE starts freaking out. SO the boy goes to Yoda for help, but Yoda basically says to ditch the pretty lady, and stop loving everyone. So Anakin is mad. Then he goes to this guy called The Chancellor, who tells Anakin good things. Then Obi-Wan leaves to go kill Double G. And the council hates Anakin, so they won`t let him be on the council. Because they`re laser-brained nerfherders. So Anakin gets mad. Then the Chancellor tells him he`s a Sith Lord. And he can save the really pretty lady. Then Anakin tells the council. For some stupid reason. Then the biggest nerfherder of all, Mace Windu, tries to kill the Chancellor. But Anakin cuts off his hand. Then the Chancellor kills Mace Windu. then Anakin goes to the Dark Side. And kills everyone. Then fights Obi-wan. WJo leaves him for dead, burning in lava, with his limbs cut off, because Obi-Wan is also a nerfeherder, and doesn`t try to help. Jerk. He killed Darth Maul! Then the pretty lady dies. Anakin is really mad, and sad, and now hates the world. Then like twenty years later, Obi-Wan finds Anakin`s son, Luke. And Anakin and Luke go and try to save everybody. They go on the Death Star, which is a really cool super weapon, capable of destroying planets. It blew up a planet. Anakin, now Darth Vader hates Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is on the Death Star. Darth Vader kills Obi-Wan, right in front of Luke. SO Luke blows up the Death Star. Jerk. THEN THEY GO, AND DARTH VADER CAPTURES EVERYONE, AND FREEZES HAN SOLO IN CARBONITE, and tells Luke who his father is. Which is Darth Vader. Luke is very unhappy about that. Darth Vader is offended by that. He still hates the world. Even more now. But he`s happier, because Obi-Wan is dead, and he just messed up the rebellion. Then blah, blah, blah, a bunch of other stuff probably happened, but Anakin refused to tell me. He went on an angry rant about all his feelings, and stuff.. Anyway, then Luke helped Darth Vader kill the Chancellor, and Darth Vader turned back into a Jedi. I think that`s what happened. The end.