I just watched Return of the Jedi for the first time in forever. Now I remember why I haven`t watched it in so long. I hate Jabba, (but I hate all Hutts, so that`s okay) BUT, not only does he have slaves, but he has a bunch of female slaves in skimpy outfits that he forces to dance. And feeds to a giant pet monster when he gets bored. Then, he takes LEIA, and puts her in a tiny metal bikini (if you can call it that) and chains her to him. And LICKS HER. Nice going, Jabba. I cheered when he was killed. BY LEIA.
ANd BOba Fett fell into the sarlacc pit. Good thing he survives.
Then it`s okay. Then EWOKS. I hate ewoks. They are not cute. They are fuzzy little monsters. I just try to ignore them, draw while semi-paying attention during that part. Then they start kicking stormtrooper/scout trooper butt, and I start fast forwarding. (Stupid ewoks! They have no right to aid in destroying the Death Star 2`s field generator!)
Then it`s fine again, until the last ten minutes or so. About when the Emperor dies. Then I try to watch, can`t, close my eyes, can still picture it clearly, start watching the movie again, cringing the whole kriffing time. I`m pretty sure my eyes get kind of big. Then, slowly, I switch the movie from the original to the blu-ray for the celebration scene, and cringe when the ewoks are playing stormtrooper helmets as drums. Thenit takes me five minutes to recover from watching my own death.
Then I have to redeem myself by watching the Empire Strikes Back. ANd cringing at the pathetic failure of AT-ATs.
Why did I do this? Max said not to go to the Dark Side until he gets back (or something like that). SO I thought watching Return of the Jedi would help. It didn`t. Obviously.
May the Force be with you! I hope you do a better job of watching Return of the Jedi then me. (I wonder what would happen if I watched Revenge of the SIth?)
Anakin SKywalker/Darth Vader