I just watched Return of the Jedi for the first time in forever.  Now I remember why I haven`t watched it in so long.  I hate Jabba, (but I hate all Hutts, so that`s okay) BUT, not only does he have slaves, but he has a bunch of female slaves in skimpy outfits that he forces to dance.  And feeds to a giant pet monster when he gets bored. Then, he takes LEIA, and puts her in a tiny metal bikini (if you can call it that) and chains her to him. And LICKS HER.  Nice going, Jabba. I cheered when he was killed. BY LEIA.

ANd BOba Fett fell into the sarlacc pit. Good thing he survives.

Then it`s okay. Then EWOKS. I hate ewoks. They are not cute. They are fuzzy little monsters. I just try to ignore them, draw while semi-paying attention during that part. Then they start kicking stormtrooper/scout trooper butt, and I start fast forwarding. (Stupid ewoks! They have no right to aid in destroying the Death Star 2`s field generator!)

Then it`s fine again, until the last ten minutes or so. About when the Emperor dies.  Then I try to watch, can`t, close my eyes, can still picture it clearly,  start watching the movie again, cringing the whole kriffing time.  I`m pretty sure my eyes get kind of big. Then, slowly, I switch the movie from the original to the blu-ray for the celebration scene,  and cringe when the ewoks are playing stormtrooper helmets as drums.  Thenit takes me five minutes to recover from  watching my own death.

Then I have to redeem myself by watching the Empire Strikes Back. ANd cringing at the pathetic failure of AT-ATs.

Why did I do this? Max said not to go to the Dark Side until he gets back (or something like that). SO I thought watching Return of the Jedi would help. It didn`t. Obviously.

May the Force be with you!  I hope you do a better job of watching Return of the Jedi then me.  (I wonder what would happen if I watched Revenge of the SIth?)

signing out,

Anakin SKywalker/Darth Vader

13 responses »

  1. Anakin SKywalker says:

    I meant SHEILD generator. Whoops!

  2. SF Jackson H says:

    Wow………….. I kind of liked the Ewoks and I didn’t think the movie was THAT bad….. but we’re all entitled to our own opinion! That’s fine! (Nice Scout Trooper!)

    • Anakin SKywalker says:

      I don`t think the movie is bad at all. I just hate ewoks, and am known as an ewok murdering monster. And I have a thing about HUtts and slaves. MOstly just the ewoks. And I have my thing with the end. But mostly the ewoks.

  3. Benjamin says:

    “I wonder what would happen if I watched Revenge of the Sith?” You’d CRY. A lot.

  4. Anakin I love you

    Like, TOTALL TRUE LOVE. … sorry!

  5. Anakin, umm, how can I become a member of all this stuff?

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